I simply couldn't imagine my classmates in their underwear and chickened out of my aforementioned presentation. I was up til 2am working on it but I just could not muster up the courage to go "on stage." I failed performance 101. Alas, I feel dreadful and riddled with guilt.
I hope to be able to re-take the class to redeem myself. My inability to perform had nothing to do with my topic or qualifications or anything, I was simply afeared. It is completely irrational at this point and it is quite possible that I am beyond forging new pathways in my brain without professional help. Nevertheless, I am hoping that with advance warning and a much longer time-frame to prepare, I can have a presentation so well rehearsed that it helps to greatly reduce the forces of panic next time around. I shall see.
The tools of public presentation are very useful tools that can be applied to job interviews and other networking tactics necessary to round up and get that new job. So all I have to do is buck up and fear not. It seems a little late to still be trying to convince myself but I have to acknowledge the problem which is the first step toward a cure. This is what the experts say. I have even given a new name to my condition, "performance interruptance." It is faux Latin so it has to rhyme.
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